Why not every potential client will love you…hint: it’s ok.

Do you think it’s possible to make everyone fall in love with you? Well, unless you’re crazy, you probably said: NO!

So, why is it then that we think it’s necessary to make every prospect fall in love with our brands? As a copywriter, I hear it all the time when I ask my clients about the people they are trying to reach.

“Oh, we want to reach everyone.” This is a fairly common reply, and my first thought is: Really? Everyone? This doesn’t seem logical when you break it down, but my (very well meaning) clients are sometimes confused about this.

I totally understand where they’re coming from. Why alienate a large portion of the market by making your product just for one particular group? In theory it makes sense, but not so much in practice. (Just imagine how ludicrous it would be for Tampax to market their lady products to men. Umm….yeah)

So, in case you haven’t picked up what I’m putting down, you do need to market to a specific segment of the marketplace, and it’s ok if you can’t make everyone love you.

Here to assure us that we absolutely can’t force prospects to love us is the talented songstress Bonnie Raitt and her song “I Can’t Make You Love Me.” Read on for some gut-wrenching lyrics.

“’Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t
You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t”

Today’s lyrical learning is all about not trying to force someone to love you who doesn’t because, guess what? You can’t make their hearts feel something for you if it isn’t meant to be.

Let’s say for example you’re a web designer and you specialize in edgy monochromatic design. Do you think the woman who wants the baby soft colors and sweet little birdie graphics is going to choose you? Probably not, right? Sure, you could try to make her love you by telling her why black is, well, the new black, and why she should forget pastels. But guess what? Her heart freakin’ loves those things. Those geometric patterns and edgy fonts you’re sporting? Her heart is not feeling it. She doesn’t love you. You can’t make her.

And that is just fine.

I am not saying all this to rain on anyone’s parade, but the reality is, there’s enough work to go around. Just because one potential client doesn’t love what you’re doing doesn’t mean there aren’t hundreds of other potential clients who will fall over themselves to hire you. Be true and authentic to the real you and you will find that the right people come your way. Once you draw that line in the sand you will actually find those people who do love what you do. Trust me on this. They will come.

Back when I was first starting out in the copywriting world I had those clients who weren’t really feeling it for me, but hired me anyway. You probably know what I’m talking about. Neither of you is that into each other, but you go ahead and move forward anyway. Kinda like a blind date that isn’t really meant to be. You realize right away it isn’t a good fit, but hey, free pasta, and if you stay through dinner you won’t have to explain to your aunt why you ditched her ex (ok, maybe that’s just me…)

But truthfully, a lot of my first clients probably didn’t choose me because they loved me. Sure, some of them did, but some chose me because they were looking for a deal and I was looking for some experience. So, we hooked up for a project or two. But, let me tell you something as your business-building big sister: You don’t want clients who don’t love you (or that you don’t love). Just like you can’t make your clients love you, they also can’t make you love them. Even if they do buy you pasta and promise to fly you to Catalina Island on your next date…I’m not the only one am I??

But in all seriousness, even if someone is willing to pay you, it doesn’t really matter in the end if they don’t love what you do and who you are as a brand. If they aren’t completely in love with your brand, they will likely be problematic. Don’t say I didn’t warn you! If you take on clients who don’t love you, you might end up like these mournful lyrics from Bonnie:

“I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me”

You may close your proverbial eyes and keep working with this client, but the fact remains. They don’t love you when their holding your work close, and it isn’t good for you or for them.

This reminds me of way back when I was a photographer. I had a style that was more photo-journalistic, as opposed to more posed shots with cheesy smiles. Early in my career I took on this one client who wanted a session for her kid because heck, I needed the money and she wanted a deal. She didn’t love my work though. She wanted those cheesy smiles and lame poses and complained, complained, complained, throughout the whole session. Then she complained, complained, complained when she saw her gallery. She hired me after seeing my portfolio, so she knew what I did. Oh yes, make no mistake, she had seen my work. The fact is though, she didn’t love my work. She was just looking for a deal (Oh, we will get into the pricing issue that is just glaring at me here in another lesson).

Did that mean my work wasn’t good? No! I had tons of clients who loved my style. She, however, did not, and I should have recognized that and declined her my photographic services. I didn’t do myself any favors (the money was not enough to put up with the complaints) and if she didn’t like the photos, then it didn’t do her a service to pay me when she could have paid a department store photography studio with a cheesy background and been thrilled. hehe.

So, what should you do? Only take those clients who are perfect for you? I’m not going to render a ruling on that (but run it by your biz coach, ok?). I will say this: when you get super clear on who it is that you serve and why, you will have a much easier time attracting only those clients who do really love you. When you messaging is clear, it is like a private invitation to the right clients to come into your inbox. You can’t make everyone love you if they don’t, but you can let the clients who will love you know who you are by being completely clear in your brand messaging. Need help crafting that messaging? Well, I happen to know someone who can help.

Are you stuck in a rut of finding clients who aren’t completely in love with what you’re doing? Do you have questions about how to find those perfect clients that will fall in love with your brand? Leave me a note below!