It all began rather mundanely. My husband and I were out with another couple for a night of food and fun. As the evening was coming to a close someone suggested we play “just one more game” of 4-person air hockey. Not entirely enthusiastic about the prospect of another game (I had always found it potentially dangerous), but also not wanting to be the poor sport in the bunch, I reluctantly agreed. We began the game and all was well, but five minutes later things took a turn for the terrible.

In a hot second the air hockey puck soared from the table and was on a collision course with my eye. One second I was laughing and smiling with the group, and the next found me with my eye throbbing and my vision blurred. When I reached my fingers gingerly up to assess the damage I could feel a knot forming at the top of my eyebrow. I went full survival mode in an instant and ran to the bar to ask for ice. The look on the bartender’s face made me realize I needed to see what horror was taking form on my face. I took out my phone so I could peek at what the world was seeing. It was worse than I thought.

There it was – a huge blood filled knot forming right on my eyebrow, contorting the upper portion of my face and growing by the minute. What am I going to do? I have client meetings, video chats, and a life to live! How can I possibly go around looking like I just got beat down in an MMA fight? (Ironically this happened the night of Ronda Rousey’s infamous fight with Holly Hale). I reasoned that I could get away with hiding for a few days, but when I found out this baby was going to last for several weeks I kind of freaked out.

As someone who always likes to put my best foot forward I was more than dismayed over this black eye. I realized quickly that I had two options: I had to either stay away entirely or deal with the realization that I would be less than my best for a while. Once I realized that I could show up as I was and it wouldn’t kill me, I found that having the black eye was actually kind of helpful for my business in more ways than one (3 to be exact). Yay for silver linings, am I right? In case you’re curious, here’s what I learned.

People respect you when you assert yourself

Nothing says I’m not afraid of conflict like a black freaking eye. I first learned this fun fact when I had to go tell my jerk of a neighbor to turn the mariachi music down so I could get some work done. When she answered the door and I nicely asked her to turn her music down and she just stood there. She did nothing. Then, I removed my sunglasses and told her to turn it down. She looked at my eye, said “OK” and turned the music off. #winning

So, what business lesson can be learned? First of all, I’m not saying to be threatening (just want to make sure I’m clear about that) but being assertive and letting people know what you require will go a long way. If you’re a people pleaser like me it might be hard for you to let others know what you need from them, but you can and you should. Be direct but firm when you need to assert yourself and it can go a long way.

Just put yourself out there, black eyes and all

I’m one of those people who always feels the need to present the very best version of me there is (and that’s why you’ll never get a video call with me before 9am in case you were wondering). Call it what you will, but prior to this incident I was the woman who wouldn’t even run into the grocery store for a quick item without the proper makeup on my face. But, something shifts when you have a black eye. Something happens when the best version of you isn’t even available for 3-4 weeks. You realize you can put yourself out there anyway. During #BlackEyegate I created my first video for a Facebook Group. I also went ahead and had more video calls (when I typically vote for audio only calls). I went out without makeup (because although I tried, there really isn’t a way to get balanced eye shadow when one eye is all shades of blue and purple). When you stop demanding perfection from yourself and present what you’ve got (flaws and all) that’s when the magic can really happen. Nowadays while I do try to always look presentable and be prepared for things, I allow myself a little more grace (and little less makeup) to show up and be myself.

Stories help you sell

Ok, I already knew this one (I do make my living as a writer after all). But, I was reminded of how powerful story can be when it comes to selling. While I don’t advocate telling a prospect every little detail about your health, wealth, or happiness, because, well #awkward, it doesn’t hurt to be a little transparent and let them into your world a bit (and quite frankly, if you’re showing up on a video call with a black eye an explanation is probably in order). Connecting with people through stories does so much more for your business than just explaining your situation though. Storytelling is how we relate to others, find common ground, and connect authentically. It’s one of the oldest “tricks” in the book, but the reason it works is that it’s no trick at all – stories are important. We all have stories to share; so don’t be afraid to share yours with the world – black eyes and all.

Wondering how you can get your stories out to the world in a way that’s authentic? Ready to start showing up as you are and start connecting? I can help! If you’re ready to start sharing “you” with your audience and need some help with strategy, content, or both, please get in touch and I’d love to set up a time to chat. Don’t worry, I won’t suggest you get a black eye to help you move forward in your business. Ready to connect? Get in touch!